


To New Beginnings

by kaylakaboo



Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:47:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22948042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaylakaboo/pseuds/kaylakaboo
Summary: You earned your way to Intelligence, but suddenly Jay begins to question your every more. Or, Jay’s an ass and it takes him just a minute to figure how bad he’s messing up. Request: Reader likes Jay, but he’s very cold and distant. When the reader gets tired of it, she blows up on him in front of the team with a cute ending.
Relationships: Jay Halstead/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 45





	To New Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Tumblr! kayla-kaboo

It happened so quickly- these things usually do.

Kevin had just breached the front door when he called out a runner near your position and suddenly you regretted skipping the gym this past week. A man in his late 20s, brown hair, average height - was that a scar on his right cheek? The chaos from your ear piece momentarily distracted you. Local gang tattoo on this left forearm

Adam called out an additional pair that sent him and Kim East on Cedar, hopefully away from other civilians.

You however, were not as lucky. Loud music perked your ears from what you had hoped was only a backyard get together, but the familiar nostalgic dinging from a carnival game made that unlikely.

There are aren’t many things better than a good block party, though you had wished they’d picked another day.

You had him- you swear you did. Feet pounding the pavement- reverberating in your teeth, breath heavy in your chest. The scrapes on your wrist from the chain link fence you had just jumped were barely an afterthought in the back of your mind.

You were closing in by the second.

Then he rounded a corner, cut through an alley and disappeared in the crowd, his sweatshirt left in a puddle near a trash can on the street. His Glock most likely tucked in his waistband. There were far too many people, but still you tried to scan the crowd.

That’s when you heard the gunshots.

Kevin’s voice bellowed out over the radio.

“Officer down.” Cut through the ringing.

In that moment you decided to turn back for your partner rather than look for a man you’re not sure you could even find, let alone get down safely, without traumatizing and endangering a neighborhood of unsuspecting civilians.

Had your instructor from the academy been there to time your sprint, you’re sure you would’ve broken some kind of record somewhere.

When you approach the back door, there’s glass everywhere and a few chunks blown out of the walls giving way to half rotted wall bearings. The smell of gunpowder mixed with something… unpleasant hangs in the air, but you continue forward. Your weight shifts to the balls of your feet and you keep your gun drawn, body low as you search the house.

Harsh voices draw you towards the front of the house. Peaking around the corner of the kitchen, there’s a suspect in the living room with a gun by his side, clutched tightly in his grip, standing before Kevin. Jay is laying a few feet away from him, still, and you feel sick.

“Put the gun down.” You order.

“Y/N, we’re good, you can go. Me and my friend are just talking some things out.” Kevin’s voice is tight, his jaw taught and pupils wide.

“Sorry, Kev, can’t do that.” You tell him and turn your gaze towards the man. “Let’s get that gun on the ground and then get you out of here.” His hand twitches and you steady your aim in response. “It’s not worth it, man. Come one, we got SWAT five minutes out and they’re not going to be as nice as we are. So, let’s just…”

You reach a hand out to try and take the gun, but he raises it towards you instead, his eyes wild and darting between you and the door behind you.

“Don’t come any closer!” He yells.

“Hey man, if your gonna point a gun, point it at me.” Kevin shifts his weight to draw attention and you take the small distraction to get closer.

He’s able to talk the man into lowering the weapon at least to his side, a small compromise that still leaves you both unnerved, but the sound of leaves crunching under the boot of a uniformed officer outside spooks him into raising his gun again. This time with the intent of pulling the trigger.

You put two in his back before he gets the chance.

**

A superior takes your statement and you are promised that today will be ruled a clean shoot. Adam and Kim return with their runners and you can’t help but feel guilty for losing yours. Kevin raises a brow and wordlessly conveys that there’s no use in falling down that rabbit hole, but it’s hard not to.

You take a deep breath and try to shake it off before meeting him by the patrol car he’s leaned against. Jay’s voice carries in behind you and you have to bite your lip to not laugh at the sight of him swatting at the medics just trying to do their jobs.

“He gonna make it?” You scrounge up an ounce of humor.

Kevin turns his gaze back to you and smiles. “Bullet hit the vest, few bruised ribs. I’m sure-“

“What the hell was that?” Jay comes charging up, slightly less intimidating as he winces when he breathes. “You came back here when there was an armed suspect loose?” He yells.

You’re stunned, mouth slack and eyebrows drawn together. “I’m sorry, what-“

“We called out a runner and it was your job to get him. Not come back here and play superhero.” He bites.

“Don’t talk to my partner like that, Jay, she just saved out asses.” Kevin defends you.

“Yeah, how about a ‘thank you’ or a ‘nice work’?” You add.

“Oh, I’m supposed to congratulate you for failing to do your job? Who knows what that suspect will do now? That’s on you.”

“He got away. Yeah that blows. But you and my partner were taking fire with no back up. I came back to, yes, save you rather than aimlessly look for a man who disappeared, risking the lives of about a hundred people. That’s what I’m trained to do.” You’re fuming now, Kevin’s assurances that you had made the right call are doing nothing to soothe you.

“This is Intelligence, Y/N, not patrol. If you feel like you’re out of your depth or that you were moved up too quickly, talk to Voight.” He leaves you there, both you and Kevin’s mouths agape.

**

“I don’t know where he gets off coming at me like that!” You yell, again, but Kevin still voices his agreeance. “I mean, he’s not the sergeant, he wasn’t even lead. That was you!”

Kevin says something he hopes is supportive, but it borders on patronizing. Yesterday’s blow up was not the first and he’s become increasingly convinced it will not be the last. You plop back down on his couch, your beer sloshing with you, and sigh. He smiles, again, a little patronizingly, at you as you thread your fingers through a blanket and you pout.

“Things were going so well.” You say softly.

That was news to Kevin. Save the last two weeks, the only interactions he had seen between you and Jay didn’t go past a bit of witty banter. Did he know you had a thing for him? Of course, he’s your partner, but Jay has always been harder to read.

He waits patiently for you to elaborate and when you don’t, he rolls his eyes. “Are you really going to make me ask, Y/L/N?”

You groan obnoxiously and throw yourself back. “We weren’t dating or anything, but we were kind of seeing each other?” You can feel his eyes burning into you and can almost feel the ‘partners tell each other everything’ speech encroaching, but you continue before he has the chance. “We were waiting to see where it would lead before telling anyone.”

Kevin huffs. “And where did it lead?”

You’re quiet for a moment. “To my place. A few weeks ago.”

“For?”

You throw a pillow at him. “No details, Kev, don’t be a perv. I fell asleep and when I woke up a few hours later, he was gone. Now he won’t return my texts and he’s being an absolute ass.” Kevin is uncharacteristically quiet. “I don’t really know what to do.” You add quietly.

**

“We’ve got analysts combing through his GPS history, but, so far, no leads on where he might be keeping Mia.” Adam’s face drops as he looks towards a picture of a young woman, graduation cap tilted to the side, smile as bright as the sun shining behind her.

Of the four girls who had gone missing, three had turned up dead. Mia Edwards, a recent engineering graduate, was the most recent and she was quickly running out of time.

You place a hand of support on his arm as you move past him to get a closer look at the board. Jay makes some kind of comment, but you’ve learned to tune him out these days. There’s something within the information delicately placed in front of you that is screaming for you to see it.

“Three isn’t enough to confirm a definite pattern, but these abduction sites,” You run your finger along the addresses, “fall within 5 miles of Little Italy. And if you…” You trail off for a moment and grab a city map, placing a dot for each location where a body was found. The math is messy, but you draw a circle “If you take the crime scenes, that narrows it down to here, around Roosevelt.”

“Oh, did your years on patrol teach you this?” Jay asks sarcastically.

“No, the FBI from that seminar you skipped did.” You shoot back and he glares in response.

“There’s a low-income housing unit that was condemned six months back in the same area.” Adam announces from behind his computer. “Fits the area and there’s been calls about squatters.”

“Because it’s empty houses.” Jay interjects. “Everything about this guy says he keeps it close to home. On the other side of town. What if you’re wrong?” He presses. “If you are, and we bust down those doors, we waste hours of her life. That’s on you.”

You’re not sure what it is. Jay had been coming for you the last handful of weeks, second guessing your every move, being an over obnoxious, hard headed, sanctimonious ass hat and you had yet to let it shake you. But something about the way he’s looking at you right now in this moment has your blood boiling for the first time in weeks.

It’s as if he truly believed you would endanger an innocent woman in an act of showing off. As if you didn’t really care about doing your job and saving her. For you, that’s the last straw.

“I’m right.” You start slowly, darkly. The calmness in your voice a thin veil for the daggers hidden within. “Just like I was right about last weeks suspect being a woman, that cop being dirty, that kid being innocent, that mother still being alive, and coming back for you and Kev.” You slowly take a few steps forward and Kevin can’t get the image of a tiger about to kill it’s prey out of his head. “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, or why you seem to think wasting this teams time by nit picking my every suggestion rather than doing your job is a good call, but if you don’t stop coming at me like this,” You take the final step that places you directly in front of him and pull your shoulders back. “We’re gonna have a problem.”

He matches the intensity in your eyes and you wonder for a second if you’ll have to really lay him out in front of everyone.

You lower your voice to barely above a whisper. “You want me gone, Jay? You want me to transfer units? You’re about to get it.”

“Enough!” Voight bellows. “I’ve had it. You two used to push each other to be better, but now you’re just wasting our time. We will go sit on that development while you figure out how to either work together and stay in Intelligence, or if I do need to start a transfer.”

**

“I’m not leaving.” Jay says defiantly.

The team had left in a rush leaving you and Jay sitting in unbridled tension from your respective desks. Your jaw was clenched, his arms were crossed, fists balled at his elbows.

You roll your eyes. “You sound like a petulant child.”

“Says the girl who got us kicked of the case.” He mumbles.

“Are you serious right now? I- god- what is with you?!” You explode, rising up to pace the walkway. “I mean, Jesus Jay, what? What could I possibly be doing better right now? Please tell me because I honestly cannot do this anymore. What did I do to make you not trust my judgement or my skills? Because you certainly didn’t have a problem before we slept together.”

For the first time in weeks, Jay Halstead is speechless.

“Yeah, go ahead and do some inner soul searching for an answer. I have done nothing, nothing, but support this team and do the best job I can.”

He’s silent still and you can’t tell if his lack of words is more or less infuriating.

He stares at his hands for almost two hours before he says anything.

“I’m sorry.”

It’s barely above a whisper. In fact, you can’t really tell if you heard him correctly over the paper balls you were shooting into the trash. When you look over at him and he’s still watching his fingers, you chalk it up to your bored and desperate brain making up something.

“I’m sorry.” He says again, louder. This time he’s looking at you, really seeing you, and it’s hard not to feel exposed under his gaze. “You were right.”

A phrase you thought you’d never hear him say.

“What do you know of the detective who had your desk before?” He asks. He’s calmer now, yet still poised as if he’s guarding something.

“Erin Lindsey? Not much, really. Heard she was a great cop. Good instincts, even better in a fight. What? You think I don’t deserve her spot or something?”

He shakes his head with a small smile before it fades. “You’re just as good, if not better.”

“Then what is it?” There are no harsh tones in your voice, no clipped vowels, just simply the need for some kind of answer.

“I almost proposed to her.” He says simply. That was definitely not what you were expecting. “We started dating, things got serious and I got my mother’s ring, but before I got to ask her, she left. Just packed her stuff and left Chicago. It just left me with a lot of questions.”

You’re stunned into silence and Jay smiles sadly.

“I guess it gave me more problems than I thought, things I never dealt with. So that night, with you, it came back.”

“What did?” You ask softly, moving closer to him.

“That fear and sadness I felt after she left. I guess it was easier for me to channel it into anger, and, in turn, direct it towards you. For that, I am sorry and I swear to never let it happen again.”

“It was one night, Jay, I wasn’t professing my love.” You try to stay soft in your approach.

“But I felt something I hadn’t felt since then.”

When he meets your eyes, that’s when you see it. The hurt man scared of love and willing to do what he has to protect himself.

“So, you started to push me away.” You add for him. It’s not an accusation, rather an observation.

He nods. “But you’re too good, too kind to let even a dick you hate get left behind by you.” He wipes the corner of his eye, catching a tear you had missed.

To his surprise, you grab his hand and sigh. “I’m not her, Jay, you cannot punish me for things she did. And I don’t hate you, I actually don’t think I can. I care about you and while I can’t promise you that we won’t break each other’s hearts, I can promise you that. I truly, deeply care for you.”

“So, we just pick up like the last few weeks haven’t happened? Y/N, I can’t ask you to do that.”

“That’s not what I’m asking. If you are willing, though, I think there are some things that you and I can work through.” His eyes perk up and he radiates hope. “But you have to put in the work.” He begins to nod eagerly. “I’m serious, Jay. You cannot hold her against me.”

“I know, I’m sorry.” He grips your hand in his tighter, thumbing the back of your hand.

“Okay.” You say softly

“Okay?”

You raise a brow. “Yeah, if you’re done being an ass.”

He eyes you carefully until you burst into laughter, a loud, contagious sound he can’t help but join in with.

“Oh, thank god.” Kevin sounds from behind you.

Adam joins him. “I thought we were going to have to start picking sides.”

“Alright, alright, enough. Tell me, was I right?” You ask.

Kim smiles at the sight before them, you and Jay’s hands still intertwined. “Mia is on her way to Med. She’s going to be okay.”

“You’re amazing.” You hear jay whisper from behind you.

“I know.” You quip, turning back to him with the brightest smile he’s ever seen.


End file.
